


Broken

by LoganExeHasStoppedWorking



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Acephobia, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Acephobia, M/M, One Shot, Self-Acceptance, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-22 15:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoganExeHasStoppedWorking/pseuds/LoganExeHasStoppedWorking
Summary: Jack always felt like he might’ve been broken. Compared to his friends and peers, something inside him never quite clicked the way it did for others.When he was young, he figured he might just be a bit late, but now that he was grown up... he was sure something inside him was broken.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> I believe in ace Jack supremacy—
> 
> But yeah, anyway I wrote this because I need some more asexual characters in my life and vent by projecting onto my favorite character. I really have nothing else to say about this. I've just been wanting to write this for a while.
> 
> Hope y’all enjoy :3

Jack was broken. 

He was sure of it.

Why else would have the feelings he did? Or… lack of feelings in this case. 

In middle school, he figured he was just a late bloomer. He was sure when he got older some switch in his brain would flip and he’d start feeling that sort of attraction his friends and classmates felt.

Well, he was older now… and nothing. He felt nothing. 

No arousal. No enjoyment when it came to those adult movies his friends would buy back in high school. Nothing. 

Quite the opposite actually. When something some sort of sex scene came on tv, Jack shielded his eyes. There was something about it that he just found very uncomfortable. He would probably go as far as to say they disgusted him even. He just didn’t see the appeal that others saw in it.

He could take the occasional dirty jokes and even throw some himself in the moment. It was funny. That was just his sense of humor. But when it came to thinking about it in prospects of actually having to have sex in his life, it made him uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t explain.

He tried talking to his friends about his lack of drive. They only looked at each other with a shared look and a smile. 

_ “You’re only 16. You can’t know right now.” _

_ “You just need to meet the right person is all.” _

_ “Ha! Yeah, sure you don’t.” _

Jack just shrugged it off with his usual smile.

They were probably right. He was just being stupid. He would be inclined to feel some sort of sexual attraction eventually.

Well… then, he hit college.

He was in his early twenties and still nothing. He had dated a few guys and girls, trying to see if he could get any sort of feeling. Yet, the moment things became too intimate he couldn’t handle it. He would come up with some sort of excuse to leave or stop things from progressing.

It did come to a point where he had made up to many excuses and he to explain that he didn’t want sex. He didn’t know why, he just didn’t want it. 

_ “How can you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?” _

_ “I can help you fix that.” _

_ “Everyone feels sexual attraction. It’s part of life.” _

That’s when he came to the conclusion…

Something was wrong with him. Something had to be. This wasn’t normal. He was broken and needed fixing.

He figured he’d try seeing a doctor or a therapist or something because unlike everyone around him, something just didn’t click inside him.

His family, his friends, and even significant others had made it clear that something was definitely broken in him.

It wasn’t until one day, he finally decided that he had to fix himself. Maybe if he tried it once, he’d enjoy it. Then, he wouldn’t be laughed at and be able to live as others did.

* * *

David Jacobs was amazing.

Jack hadn’t met anyone like him before. 

He was smart, caring, a no nonsense kind of guy, and very handsome too.

Jack met him about a semester ago when he went to visit Race’s dorm. By looks alone, he had immediately fallen for Race’s roommate. Then, David started hanging out with them. Jack fell even harder upon getting to know him.

It wasn’t long before the two of them became good friends and hung out almost all the time.

It wasn’t until recently that he finally got the nerve to ask David out. Jack was pleasantly surprised when he said yes. He was even more pleasantly surprised when David agreed to a second date. Then a third and so on.

The farther they got into their relationship, the more anxious Jack grew. It was only a matter of time before they got to  _ that  _ point. It made Jack nervous just thinking about it.

How could he not? Considering he was at a risk of losing a close friendship and one of the better relationships he’s had in his life, it was nerve wracking.

One weekend, Jack’s own roommate had to leave due to a family emergency, so Jack decided to invite David over to watch a movie and just hang out.

Just as Jack had finished setting things up, Davey arrived.

“Heya Davey,” Jack greeted with his usual grin. “Just in time. Everything’s all set up. We don’t got anything too fancy, so you’re just gonna have to settle for my crappy old laptop.”

David gave him a smile. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve seen your laptop before. It’s only a few cracks to deal with.”

Jack rolled his eyes with a playful smile. “Shut up and get in here, idiot.”

He closed the door behind David and hopped onto his bed. He patted the space next to him for David to sit with him.

They got comfortable in a position in which David was sitting behind him and Jack had his head rested on the taller boy’s chest. 

Jack scrolled through the Netflix account he stole the password from Race and found a movie for them to watch. 

It was some sci-fi movie that David said he’d been wanting to watch. 

They sat there for a while watching it. David’s arm wrapped around Jack and Jack letting himself lay back. 

Science fiction was never his thing, but this wasn’t half bad. Jack was actually enjoying it. He may have dozed off a bit during some parts, but the story started picking up just as he was about to fall asleep. 

“So, what’d you think of the movie?”

Jack shrugged. “It was great. The cgi was crap though.”

David chuckled. “You talk like you can do it better.”

Jack sat up and looked up at him. He smirked. “I probably could. This is, what, a 90s movie? I totally could.”

David chuckled. “You’re probably not wrong.”

There was a beat of silence. They’re faces were only inches apart. 

Jack felt David’s grip on his waist tighten. He couldn’t help but smile. He leaned forward until the space between them was closed. 

Jack closed his eyes and took in the feeling of the moment. 

The feeling of David’s arms around him, his soft lips against his own, the warmth of their bodies. It was perfect. 

He pulled away for a second and positioned himself so he was facing David. He wrapped his arms around the other and kissed him. 

David pulled him closer. 

Jack felt David’s hand travel down his body. He felt his fingers move to his inner thighs. 

Jack tensed up a bit. His mind started running at a million miles an hour. 

_ You can do this,  _ he told himself.  _ Just a quick fix. Just once. Just do it. It’s not gross. Remember, it’s part of life.  _

The kiss deepened. Jack felt himself fall back on the bed. David’s hands had his pinned down with his knees on either side of Jack. 

One of his hands trailed down to Jack’s pants. 

Jack flinched. 

David pulled away. They both took in a breath. 

“Are you okay?” David asked just above a whisper. “You seem a bit tense.”

_ Just do it. Just do it.  _

“Yeah,” Jack breathed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just— it’s nothin’. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’.”

David frowned. “You don’t seem too convinced.”

“I’m fine, Dave. Just do it.”

David raised an eyebrow. He removed his hands from where they were and sat up. “Yeah, no. You just seem really… uncomfortable. Are you okay?”

Jack sat up as well. “I’m good. I just need you to do this, okay? No matter how much I seem like I don’t want it. Just do it.”

“What? No, I’m not—”

“Please, Dave!” Jack blurted out. “I just— I need someone to fix this!”

David looked taken aback. He moved off Jack and stood up. “Fix— What are you talking about?!”

Jack opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He sat up and brought his legs up to his chest. 

Great, he messed this up. He knew this was coming. He ruined yet another relationship. 

He hugged his legs close and took in a deep breath. “Look,” he said, “I know that that’s just how things should be. People always tell me that I gotta have sex at some point, but I… I just don’t want to. I’m sorry, Dave. I love ya, but I don’t feel  _ that  _ way about ya. I’ve never felt sexually attracted to  _ anyone _ .”

The other boy just stared at him. 

“Look, I’m broken,” Jack continued. “I thought if I, ya know, finally did it I’d be fixed. Somethin’ about me just ain’t right…” He buried his head in his knees. 

He felt the bed sink under the weight of another person. A hand was laid in his shoulder. 

Jack looked up to see David with a sympathetic look. “Jackie,” he said gently, “there’s nothing wrong with you. That’s normal.”

“No, it really ain’t,” Jack muttered. “Why is it that everyone else feels it, but I don’t?”

David put his arm around Jack and kissed his forehead. “Jack, you’re not broken. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel that kind of attraction. There are some people that never feel sexual or even romantic attraction.”

Jack tilted his head. “Really?”

“Yeah,” David explained. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just asexual.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “I’m… huh?” Jack wasn’t so sure he understood. 

“Asexual,” David explained. “You’re telling me a majority of your friends are lgbt, and you’ve never heard of it?”

Jack shook his head. He crossed his legs and faced David, slightly intrigued now. 

“It just means you don’t experience sexual attraction to other people. I’ve known plenty of people who are asexual.”

Jack furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait… really? But what if that’s not it. I’ve never had sex before. How can—”

“Do you want to have sex?”

Jack laughed nervously. “No… not really. It’s just really… ew, ya know?” He shuddered. “But how can I know if I’ve never—”

“Have you ever tried hugging a cactus?”

“What? No.”

David crossed his arms. “Would you?”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Hell no. That’d hurt.”

“How do you know you won’t like it? You’ve never tried it.”

Jack opened his mouth to speak when it hit him. “Oh, I see what you did there.” He laughed. “Clever. Very clever there Jacobs.”

David chuckled. “See. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Jack looked at him. “How ‘bout you? Are you…”

David laughed nervously. “Me? Heh… I think you can tell already that I’m not.”

Jack frowned a bit. “So then, how are we gonna make this work?”

David smiled. He took Jack’s hand and squeezed it. “There’s more to a relationship than just that, Jackie. I’d be happy just to have you here with me. We don’t need sex to make a relationship work.”

Jack felt a smile tug at his lips. “You sure?”

David nodded. “For sure.” He leaned in and kissed Jack’s forehead. Then, he hugged him tightly. “You are not broken, Jackie. You’re perfect.”

Jack felt heat rise to his cheeks. “Thanks, Davey. I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

They pulled apart. David checked his watch. “Well, it’s still pretty early. What do you want to do now?”

Jack thought for a moment. “Hm… well, ya know that ice cream place a few blocks away from here. We can go get some ice cream if ya want.”

“That sounds great.” David stood up. “Come on, let’s go.”

Jack got up and followed David out the dorm room. 

Something felt different. 

It was like he had a weight lifted from his shoulders. Sure, he still felt really bad and wasn’t fully convinced, but he felt better. 

He felt better than he had in a long time. At least now, he knew there was a label for what he felt. Now, he could start feeling better about himself. 

Jack was fine. 

Jack wasn’t broken. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I know asexual doesn’t automatically equal sex repulsed, but I’m basing this on my own asexuality so yeah. Jack’s a sex repulsed ace.  
> I’ve always loved the idea of asexual Jack, so I HAD to write this. It was pretty fun to write too. 
> 
> Hope y’all enjoy this lil one-shot! Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Thanks for reading!


End file.
